The Danger of a Good Vibes Only Mentality


I see a lot of people in the coaching community focusing on a good vibes only approach. While this is great (we all need affirmations, and positive mindsets).. it’s only half of the picture. And when we deny the other side of life, it can come out in some pretty scary ways.

The fact is, we live in a world of duality. We see this in the turn of the planets giving us both night and day. In chemistry which offers us acids and alkaline, in the polarities of the masculine and feminine. And pretty much everywhere else we look.

There are always two sides of the spectrum, and it’s everything that happens in-between that gives life it’s color.

We seem to accept this on a physical level, but when we talk of spirituality, manifesting, or inner work, there’s a tendency for people to want to deny the shadow side. Unfortunately this can make us run into problems.

Finding Balance

I’ve had so many clients come to me with issues that stem from this unbalanced way of thinking. They’d worked with coaches that told them to focus only on the good vibes, and to brush over any ‘negatives’ or shadows that wanted to come up. 

This can be so dangerous.. it’s like wiping the dirt around on your counter top without removing it. It may look acceptable for a while, but eventually it will make you sick.

I much prefer the wholistic approach. And when we look at ourselves as whole systems, we get much better at actualizing our potentials.

Take the human body for example. We have two fluid systems; one for nourishment (the blood), and the other for removing waste (the lymphatic system). If we completely ignored the waste, and pretended it wasn’t there, then it would build up, and before long we wouldn’t be feeling very high vibe anymore. No matter how much we tried to focus on the nourishment side of things. 

It’s exactly the same with our emotional, spiritual and mental vibrations. And here are the 3 main reasons why I feel that embracing both sides of the spectrum is vital to our manifesting ability and overall well-being..

1. Suffering can be a Great Teacher

Now please don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe that suffering is necessary for learning or our personal evolution - far from it! And that’s why I dedicate my time to doing such deep inner work with people. To help them learn their lessons before the suffering escalates.

But we need to understand that suffering is an alarm bell that goes off when we’re living a life that’s misaligned with our truth.

If we don’t listen to the first few hints that something is wrong (low vibes for example), then we risk ignoring the call to change, and this can have big negative impacts down the road.

This might be the friend who ignores their health complaints until it gets out of control. Or the entrepreneur who works themselves into burn out because they’re trying to live up to the hustle hard culture.

Ultimately, low vibes are there for a reason; to act as a warning sign that something is off; and maybe we need to tweak our plans, or take another path entirely.

I like to see low vibes as the canary in the mine - telling us that something needs our attention.

2. Low Vibes Will Still Come Out (Whether We Ignore Them or Not)

As we know, energy can neither be created or destroyed, and so low vibe energy isn’t going to disappear just because we say so.

It’s there for a reason, and if we don’t learn the lesson then it’s going to find another way to be heard. Getting louder and louder each time.

Our unconscious mind is the storehouse for everything that’s ever happened to us. And as children (before we had our adult filters on), we soaked up everything our environments had to offer. Both the negatives and the positives.

These are the beliefs and patterns that are running 90% of our consciousness, and are the biggest driving forces behind what we manifest in our world. 

Sometimes ‘low vibes’ or negative energies, feelings, and patters, can come up from the unconscious seeking expression. If we ignore them and focus on a ‘good vibes only’ approach, then we may save ourselves from having to deal with them in the moment. But they will continue coming out in a multitude of ways until they are we’re ready to face them.

Years ago I used to get scared when I reached a new layer of my conditioning, but now I celebrate it. Because the more layers I peel back, and more light I shine on these misunderstood parts of myself, the more wonderfully me I become. 

3. Low Vibes are OK

When we start to categorize ‘high vibes’ are good, and ‘low vibes’ are bad. We tell ourselves that we’re only acceptable when we’re happy, and that feeling sad, or lonely, or scared is somehow wrong. But guess what? We’re human!! 

We’re all spiritual beings, having a human experience, and it’s OK to feel down sometimes. We can’t all be riding unicorns and shooting rainbows from our wrists 24/7.. (I save this for weekends) ;)

The truth is, there are blessings in all vibes.

When we accept the lower vibration times, we take ourselves off the hook for not ‘being perfect’. We learn to love and have compassion for ourselves and others. And also how to honor and reclaim those parts of ourselves asking for attention.

The beauty of the spiritual path is that we get to accept and integrate our whole selves; quirks, zaniness, and shadow side included.

So for those of you reading this, that feel you always need to be good, or happy, or perfect, or beautiful, just to be accepted.

It’s OK to be you...where you’re whatever vibe you find yourself to be in..