How this seemingly innocent habit could be an act of self-sabotage (and what to do about it!)


Imagine this: You’re on a blissful vacation. Relaxing in the sun. Eating food that makes you happy. Smiling and laughing with your loved ones. Maybe even spending some luxurious time doing absolutely nothing. Ahhhhh. I can almost hear the waves and the wind whispering through the lush, green surroundings.  Taking in the moment, you close your eyes and then you say it.  “I wish”. I wish I could do this every day. I wish I could eat this food every day. I wish I could relax like this every day… I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish…. Or this: You’re scrolling through social media. Comparing. Wishing you had what she had. You hear yourself thinking, man I wish I could do that. I wish I could be more like that. I wish I could, blah blah blah.  The thing is, every time you say I wish and don’t actually do something about it, you are sending mixed signals to yourself and out to the Universe. This seemingly innocent little habit is keeping you in a pattern of wishing but not receiving. It can also evoke negative feelings, like sadness and jealousy. No bueno, right?  In order for a wish to manifest you need to get your feelings, actions, and words energetically aligned.  I want you to do something next time you catch yourself saying I wish - actually two things.  Number one. Get clear.  Next time you hear yourself saying I wish, stop and ask yourself this question: Is that really true?  Do you really and truly wish you could have/do/be whatever it is you have just said “I wish” about? If you don’t really and truly wish you could gulp down kale smoothies every day, take a fancy vacation every other month, or get that promotion then stop saying you wish you could. Really stop to think about the reality of that wish. Is it really what you want in your reality.  Taking this one step further, think before you speak.  If you keep affirming to yourself that you wish you had something, but you really and truly don’t want it, imagine how confused the connections between your mind and soul become.  If you say you wish you could drink a kale smoothie every day, but when you stop and actually remember how kale makes you wanna barf and you really aren’t ready to trade in your mashed potatoes for mashed up kale. Then stop wishing for it. I notice this habit come up a lot in groups. Saying I wish just to fill in gaps in a conversation or to fit in. So next time you’re at brunch with your girls and you keep hearing yourself saying you, “Omg, no way! Are you serious? Ah, I wish I could do that…” stop and ask yourself if that’s really true. If you continuously hear yourself saying “I wish” in response to what someone else has or does think about what you’re telling yourself on a subconscious level.  Number two: Do something about it. You’ve taken a beat to think about it. And yes, you really and truly do wish you could drink a kale smoothie every damn day. SO GO AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Wishes don’t just happen because you say them (thank goodness, or my three year old’s room would be a stable for unicorns). You have to actually do something about it.  Take inspired action.  The first step of taking inspired action means assuming the feeling of what it would be like to have the thing you wish. What would it feel like to drink a kale smoothie every day? Sit a moment and think about how it would feel so do the thing you are wishing for. Get familiar with that feeling. Let it live in your body.  If drinking a kale smoothie makes you feel vibrant, healthy, and in control of your health, assume that feeling in your body and take action from that space. Ask for guidance and make a plan. Get quiet. Still your mind. Mediate. Ask for guidance on achieving your goal. Let the answers manifest as thoughts and feelings. And most importantly, give thanks for what’s coming. Thank you Universe for my daily kale smoothies!  What are three things you can do to achieve your goal? If your goal is take a trip every other month, then whip out your calendar and a map and get to planning. Or create a vision board of places you want to go to. Start researching prices and setting a budget, Ask yourself how much money you need to set aside. Start getting acquainted with the general steps you’d like to take to make the wish a reality.  If it’s something as simple as having a kale smoothie every day, or eating a big giant salad every night for dinner. Well then, off to the grocery you go! Go purchase a blender. Do whatever you need to do to make it easier to happen. 

Point being, stop saying you wish if you don’t really mean it. And if you do really mean it, then start doing something about it. Maybe your wish doesn’t come to fruition right away, but with clear, consistent and focused action, combined with the right mindset, it will. Remember small subtle shifts lead to great big changes.

 If you really wish for something to happen, then make it it happen!Meg Sylvester is a Spiritual Success & Wellness Coach who specializes in guiding clients to living a life that lights them up, and showing them how to feel great in the process. If you are interested in working with Meg, click here to send her a note.