How a Silent Retreat Inspired Me to Be More Mindful

Today Christy, one of the founders of Mama’s Farmacy, is thrilled to be a guest blogger for Meg. Christy will explore what mindfulness means to her and her experience on a Silence & Solitude retreat to become more mindful.

I thought it would be good to start with the definition of mindfulness.  Though I had a concept in my mind, I enjoyed looking up definitions and even using the thesaurus to really dig into the meaning.  Combining a few, I arrived at “bringing attention to the present moment without judgement and with equanimity (calmness, composure, evenness).   I also like the idea of examining the present and our feelings without the stories we have around them. For many, a mindfulness practice is cultivated in meditation, grows from there and can be practiced throughout the day.  Most of us live in such a way that these moments are special and counterculture, not habitual.  We live in a fast-paced, over-stimulated, multi-tasking society.  We tend to have too much information coming in all day long.  The expected speed of life is harrowing.   And while we are more productive than ever, have more information than ever, and even have more stuff than ever, by many measures we don’t seem to actually live better.

I believe mindfulness and experiencing life from a place of proactive action instead of defensive reaction bears much fruit.   And by fruit, I mean meaningful relationships, creativity, inspiration, and growing spirituality, the things I believe actually constitute a life well-lived.  Mindfulness brings about the ability to reflect, to take time and space to think, to create a place to feel, heal, change and grow if I have the courage to encounter my true self with love and grace.  The ultimate goal is to align my outer actions, words and life with my inner best self.  How do I point the direction of my whole life (how money is spent, how time is spent, who I spend it with, how and what I consume, the pace at which I live) to be aligned?   This is no small endeavor. 

In that light, knowing I wanted to align the outer with the inner more, and mostly just wanting to get off the merry-go-round of life, I jumped at the opportunity to go on a Silence & Solitude retreat at a monastery to spend 24 hours in quiet, with the goal to be fully present.  Of course I wanted to achieve spiritual enlightenment, and have my own “Eat, Pray, Love” journey in those 24 hours, but I was smart enough to realize this was exploratory and that spiritual “advancement” cannot be scheduled or arrived at by will. 

At our arrival orientation the retreat director said we could do whatever we wanted with the time (pray, read, journal, meditate, walk in nature, listen to music, etc.) just not talk to one another.  He also said that sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is sleep!  I was so grateful for the permission because I tend toward driving too hard, striving and pushing on.  But again, some things simply cannot be rushed and by rushing the “goal” is further away.   

Though I am a social person, I am an introvert by nature so not talking was fine.  But I’m a Type-A doer so settling into acting like a “human being” instead of a “human doing” was challenging.  As an example of how I take “me” wherever I go, I scheduled my time there! Loosely, but still a schedule that went something like: read, pray, write, lunch, nap, take a walk, read more, dinner, etc.  I gave myself permission to change anything at any time based on what I was experiencing and what I truly thought would serve best, but bless my heart, I had to have a schedule.  That schedule was my anchor in the unknown and that’s ok. That’s exactly where I was in those 24 hours.  I didn’t walk away as a different person, I didn’t walk away more “spiritual”, but I did walk away with an appreciation for slowing down, reducing my verbal word count and further exploring how I could bring more mindfulness into my every day in a way that fit my actual life at the time (which was a single person in her 30s working as a marketing professional at a large publicly-traded company, hopping on and off planes more than I wanted to be).

Mindfulness is a practice.  There is no room for performance or perfectionism.  It’s a practice that takes patience and gets stronger every time space is made, every time I have the courage to embrace it.  I find that the world bends to the limits I set, adheres to the boundaries I won’t compromise.  It’s true time and again that when my mind is set to something, that something comes to fruition.   

Mindfulness requires gentleness and non-judgement and a willingness to be uncomfortable.  I know that a lot of my action and multi-tasking and being in turbo mode is for avoidance.  It’s just easier sometimes to keep moving than to stop to feel the feelings (and it’s usually the tough ones that surface first).  I learned from a wise person that “the extent to which I am willing to feel pain is the extent to which I will be able to experience joy”.  Any endeavor in life that is worth anything will come with a bucket of emotions and that experiencing all of the feelings is part of a normal life. 

The most beautiful, most reassuring thing about this practice of mindfulness is that once we achieve it even one time, once we experience the peace, we know it exists, we know we can find it again and we know that no matter what we face, we can in fact face it and come out on the other side victorious. Mindfulness can always be found, it’s an inner resource and connection to your spirituality that is always with you.

I aspire to do another Silence & Solitude retreat, a longer one this time.  I think it takes me a good 24 hours to just get to a more balanced place.  I’m curious to know what kind of growth/rest/reflection would happen in prolonged mindfulness.   We’ll see. 

I wish you well on your journey toward mindfulness and my question for you would be this:  what is one thing you can do today to move yourself along the mindfulness journey in your life just as it is with you exactly as you are, accepting and knowing that you are exactly where you are supposed to be?

Christy is one of the co-founders of Mama’s Farmacy, offering premium CBD health & beauty products.  The company’s official mission is to “change the stigma around cannabis through information and high-quality products that are effective and beautiful and serve as a springboard for people to question the status quo and find solutions in nature to meet their needs.”   Mindfulness is one of the company’s core values and we direct ourselves to as much meditation and prayer as possible!